HELLO STRANGERS! Greetings from down under!
I haven't really been near consistent Internet since I left Indonesia in November. Although I have been writing for these blog posts, I haven't had a chance to put them up. So here comes a couple:
That I could possibly fill you in and do justice to the events since my last post is unlikely. It would turn into the craziest, lengthiest, most heartbreaking, hilarious, and probably most boring blog post known to man. But with the coming new year I have resolved to be better at blogging- even if it means condensing lots of time into a few well-chosen words.
McDonald's is one of the only places with free Internet in Australia! Here I sit in McDonald's borrowing a kind stranger’s computer because I recently left my computer in Sydney as I begin to explore the northern parts of Australia. Let me tell you, it is so liberating to have less stuff to drag around with me and worry about! I have some pictures and videos I will post when I have better internet access.
If there is one thing I am learning on this trip it is to stay present. I have even been finding that taking pictures takes me out of the experience. In one of the few times I have spoken to my dear friend Hannah Sohl (who is also on a Watson Fellowship) we marvelled together on how difficult it is to articulate our experiences to anyone else. The whole concept of the Watson- solo trip and all- makes it inherently a bit hard to explain. But I will try.
If you squint your eyes, you could almost mistake Melbourne, Victoria for Austin, Texas or some other super-hip, cutting edge American city. Constant buskers on the street, music on every corner every single night, OpShops (consignment clothes etc), incredible public transportation, welcoming people, everyone dressed "alternatively," and much more. I am in culture shock to say the least. I look up at night and there are stars! There is a blue sky! I can walk down the street for more than 5 minutes without being called Mr! I can take off my socks and shoes and wade in the ocean without fearing for my health! I can lay in the grass! There IS grass!
Even though I am gulping up the clean air, and wearing tank tops and shorts that I wasn't able to wear in Indonesia (a Muslim country) I find myself missing Jakarta. Something about the utter overwhelming crowdedness, the absolute poverty, the environmental disaster of it all……My roommate there hired a driver once that owned a monkey who smoked. I mean, literally! Looking back, Jakarta doesn't seem real. Five person families riding on one motorbike with no helmets, children dragging around dead rats on a leash as a pet, getting woken up at 4:15 am every morning as the call to prayer was blasted on a loudspeaker through my window. But there was something about Jakarta. There was never a dull moment. The pace of life- although slow due to traffic that made a 5K journey take upwards of two hours - seems so hectic, it was almost fun. The Indonesians, despite some overarching negative patterns Expats will tell you about, were very friendly (to this white woman), and they were extraordinarily funny just about all the time.
Although I did venture briefly to the 1000 Islands and to Bali, I spent the majority of my time in Jakarta. Indonesia itself is said to be one of the most beautiful, biodiverse places on earth. Above, I am of course only speaking about the parts that I experienced. The other night I met an Australia who had written his thesis on Leftist Radicals in Indo. I spoke about my disenchanted opinion of Jakarta and he offered his wisdom in response. I hadn't known much about the history of Indo, and when in Indo it is hard to find. Expats basically know nothing about it, and Indos don't really seem to care. I look forward to speaking more with the Aussie I met to find out more about the beautiful country of Indonesia.
Anyways, it all comes down to missing the kids in Cilincing. I spent approximately 7 weeks going to Cilincing Tues-Fri, and hanging out with the students when Hidung Merah bused them into Jakarta proper for training on Sundays. And of course, at around 7 weeks was when I really started to make breakthroughs with the kids. They started to trust me and joke around with me, right as I was getting ready to leave. Awesome. Tuesdays and Thursdays were spent tutoring kids on anything from English to math. Of course I couldn't really speak the language so that presented some interesting situations and circular conversations. By the end of my time there I could get around in Bahasa Indonesia. The other day on a bus in Melbourne I eavesdropped on some Indonesians and felt so accomplished! But I can feel it already slipping away. Wed, Fri, and Sundays were spent doing circus skills and English. Man oh man, were these kids awesome! Juggling clubs while standing on shoulders, passing rings, flexibility. Their skills were impressive, and their hunger to learn inspiring. Although sometimes they did need a little kick in the butt!
I had the unbelievable opportunity to take on a lot of responsibility with Hidung Merah because when I arrived they were just losing many employees and volunteers. Every morning I walked an hour to the office through the most traffic filled streets I have ever seen. Then we'd drive the hour to Cilincing. Many a Tuesday and Thursday was spent with Ddy, the field manager for HM. Ddy, an aspiring Indonesian rock/pop singer, would belt out the words to American pop songs and I would follow suit. Then we'd tutor from 10-3pm or so in the small circus space. Laying on the mats, joking with the kids, and trying to get some work done. When I taught a 15 year old boy to do algebra in five minutes I finally got a complete picture of the disrepair the Indonesian school system lies in. They had been learning algebra for months, and he still had no idea what was going on! All it took was 15 minutes of one-on-one help to explain it.
The people I lived with in Indo can attest to the fact that I smelled like fish, mussels, sweat, and shit the entire 2 months I went to Cilincing. But besides the stench I dragged around with myself for a couple of months, I found myself always on the brink of tears. I have never been great at separating myself from the experience of others and I found it extraordinarily hard to separate myself from the poverty that I saw in Indonesia, and in Cilincing specifically. I have never seen people living the way they lived there. In trash villages, fishing villages, and small settlements I saw on the side of the road I saw easily the most unsanitary living I have ever seen. As I mentioned in my previous post, I constantly battled with my place in the lives of the kids I was volunteering with. They seemed so happy in their lives. Who am I to judge the way they live? Perhaps living simply and with a smaller view of the world is a more satisfying way of life.
Anyhow, I happened to arrive at Hidung Merah when the kindergarten group (ages 3-6) was beginning. I ended up helping out with the structure of the class and some of the content. While I never felt that my lack of language skills held me back with the older kids, the kindergarten class was filled with little menace children that did need discipline. I wished I could have helped out more in that regard. My disciplinarian skills centered around my ability to constantly run around picking kids up and and putting them elsewhere.
My time with Hidung Merah was largely spent learning how to juggle, teaching fitness and some beginning acrobatics, running around chasing 3-6 year olds, teaching a bit of trapeze, and trying to be cool enough for those 13-17 year olds to like me. Hidung Merah can take credit for my juggling skills! In the 2 1/2 months I was in South East Asia (which short trips to Singapore and Malaysian Borneo), I spent considerably more time with children than adults. Thus I am noticing that my maturity level may well be dwindling!
When I applied for the Watson, I cited my previous abroad experience in Israel as the inspiration from my social circus study. I wanted to use circus in the same ways that my program at the Arava Institute had used working on environmental issues as a central focus for bridging differences among Israelis and Arabs. I wanted it to be more successful, thinking perhaps using a performative tool instead of another highly contested issue (the environment) would have significantly more potential to empower individuals, create community, and move us toward peace. Additionally, when I was dreaming about my year as a Watson fellow, Indonesia was not part of my application. Thank god I added it! I can honestly say that I accomplished the above goal when I was in Indonesia. In my humble opinion, I saw with my own eyes that the organization Dan Roberts (the coolest guy ever!) has created in Indonesia, not only empowers children to have dreams, but it also instills within them a work ethic and accountability you would be hard-pressed to find in other Indonesian children. Giving children the opportunity to have aspirations, to develop skills, to learn how to help others and develop trust has an impact far beyond the particular circus skills they may acquire. My experience in Indonesia was challenging in almost every way, but I also know that these challenges have made me a stronger, more responsible, more effective and passionate person.
Hidung Merah is contemplating sending some of the kids to the US to train this spring and summer. I am already more than looking forward to seeing them when I get back to the states.
Also a special thanks goes out to Anne and Matt Stanley, Linley York and her fam, Dan Roberts and family, Ddy, Children of Cilincing, Elo, Carmen, and Lisa. Thanks for being my home away from home.
On to Australia!
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